Complicated

Sep 3, 2010

Does anyone realize~

People cry painfully, for only one reason.

And it is REGRET as the main cause..

We always go about saying things we never thought of how it would be hurting to others

We do it to feed our ego, the hideous state of mind where everyone is fake

Unrevealed veil, we are all living under constant distrust and fear

For human, the most uncertain-ed beast like minds behind unreal expressed-faces..

The past determined our characters,

it determines our choices,

thus our destined life.

It is true, well it happens to me

The past, haunts me like no one would ever not do to an enemy

Fear never fails to hit me, whenever i know i am lost

Why do humans have to so utterly cruel?

Talk about life, is it a boring topic?

Never, when u have lived it.

We were once a child, i've lost it...

Have you?

Saw this two young boys at the age of about 7, playing on the public bus, pushing each other, leaning onto each other's back, speaking a mouthful of singlish, makes me explodes with envy.

How I wish, I'm at their age, STILL. Where choices made could be reversed.

We are all created to be ourselves

The way we are, and should be

There is a reason why we are here, to be in someone's life

That is why, everyone is special

Never give up

Fuck I'm so hungry....supper anyone?

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jinn winks
at |12:32 AM|

Aug 7, 2010

This week has been like a bullet train for me. Monday to friday is just like 3 days.. But the days was quite nicely spent.. Went to do our thermo toy with peishan, sam, yunling they all after buying dry ice from depot road.. We had fun crawling over the railings as yunling said she was a 淑女cannot climb so high. And later mentioning she is a tree climber since young. LoL!

Today training was tough.. campus run and lots of exercises.. After that train defend and attack kicks. Sparring at the end.. I had a serious cramp while fighting with Qilong! Omg.. Just first kick and cramp.. -.-''

So tired.. Goodnight.

YOG is coming! So excited!

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jinn winks
at |1:08 AM|

Jul 29, 2010

Life-long learning, this catchy phrase has always been associated with the elderly picking up skills despite of all obstacles. It is encouraging to hear, and being positive about it.

Only recently, i realized that i had been really wasting my time away.. Despite of putting my efforts on studies itself, i prioritized some other aspects thats redundant in this stage of my life.

I am lost.

Lost in my own world

Lost in the foreign world of wonder land.

Lost in my world of fantasies,

Lust, Love, Greed, Selfishness, Narrow-mindedness

In short, I am leading an aimless life now.

Nothing can practically perk me up, jerk me from my dependency on parent, reliance of my comfort zone.

Realized the importance, and the fact that we humans are living creatures after all.

Secondary four biology teacher- Mrs Wee Sock Chin, my favorite teacher of my whole study life..

Taught me- Survival of the fittest, only the strongest survive- Which is true.

In the animal kingdom, there is always roles, of being a predator, a prey, or both in the same organism. In the human aspect, there is the poor, the riches, the powerful, the respectable, the good looking elvis, the ugly betty.. Everyone is being classified into different classes.

Being a Singaporean myself, i am blessed with good life, even though i am not born with golden spoon. The too-well pathed Education System made me too dependent on what is given to me right in my face and not making me perusing it.

Enough said, a change has to be made, no matter how tough it is, i wanna be the guy i used to be, the ever curious guy who are so passionate of knowing new stuffs.

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jinn winks
at |8:17 PM|

Jul 11, 2010

Updates on my pet pigeons-

Gaga flew off, and for a few days he was no where to be seen. Today he came back for awhile for the food, i wanted to touch him but he was already so wild that he moment he came near to me he wanted to fly away. I used a very soft method to call him back and he slowly went back to his "old house" and i managed to pet him. It was growing well, and i was relieved that it was leading a life that he wanted to have. I let him free and i will always invite him back to the old house to have a quick snack.. Well, who isn't like that. Those foreigners, who lived way back in china, malaysia, indonesia.. they go back to their old homes once in awhile. Sometimes when u love something, or someone, u don't need them by the side, just knowing that they are doing well, will do.

Bibi is doing incredibly these days. He has been able to fly high, far and still come back to me when he is done flying. We'll i have comments from fellow friends that i was incredible to train my pigeons to do that while they can't even train their much higher intelligence creatures- dogs. Knowing this, i was assured that.. I have done my best as an owner, and is looking forward to doing more. But there was pain in the process.. when i have to lose my pigeons, looking for them.. missing them, worrying for them, making sure they are not bored of the environment...etc.

Putting pigeons aside, I had a dinner with one of my friends. Being really experienced in life, he gave me a really rewarding lecture on life, work, studies... etc. Realizing that there are so much things for me to learn, pick up, go through.. I can't afford to stay stagnant. What is the purpose of us living, when one has no dreams?

Life is indeed tough, but never predictable. U never know a degree holder would have to drive a taxi someday, nor an ITE student may make it big in the business world. Not saying driving taxi is bad job, but its just not as ideal. But what is an IDEAL job?

A Doctor? A Lawyer? A Teacher? What makes a job good? And what makes a job bad? The salary?

I just came to a point. I have no dreams... I used to have so much passion about life. And when uncertainty sets in, i get emotional. Because i don't know what i should do next. What will happen to me, my future and such. But now i don't even get emotional. Cos i don't even think of it. But after the talk today, yeah, i think i know what to do... I should spend time thinking of what i will wanna be, and how am i going to achieve it.

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jinn winks
at |1:35 AM|

Jul 4, 2010

The night was grand. Very grand. I was there, working as a waiter serving the very important people. The table i served was table 217 and it was freaking far from the decoy area. There were 500 tables of 10 pax each table.. Each table settings cost 800bucks, in total, the whole event spent more than S$400,000 for the entire event. Lee Hsien Loong was there as the GUEST OF HONOUR, with other Ministers like Lim Boon Heng in the VVIP SEATS. Yes, i didnt type wrongly. It is VVIP. VERY VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE. I saw other Ministers and important people as well. Baey Yam Keng was beside my table and he wore so dashing.. Goh Chok Tong was there and his head popped out among the audiences while walking the red carpet... Haha. damn tall. But the whole night made me so tired. Walked so much.. Because the whole place was three ballrooms connected together, total of 500 tables, 10+ screens.. Even TAUFIK BATISA and RAHIMA RAHIM was there to perform the rasa saya hei song...

There was this guy from my table trying to start a conversation with me while i collected his plate. It goes like that:

"Boy, are you a student now?"

"Yes, I am"

"So where are you studying in?"

" I study in SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC"

"Oh! What course are you in?"

"I am in CHEMICAL ENGINEERING"

"I see, i just conducted a speech there recently during the graduation"

"Okay." *Smiled with a grin, while i collects the next guy's plate*

Interesting. But we are not supposed to have long conversations with the guests. So i cannot reciprocate much. I heard them discussing about finding jobs in SINGAPORE.

I was so tired. But i got to know this girl named pearl. We seems to have some common interest. She has some attributes of the girl in my secondary school female classmate who wasn't in good terms with me. :)

Oh yeah by the way, i always have wanted to blog about my pigeons. Haha.. Gaga, the smaller pigeon is a great flyer now. It can fly anywhere it wants and still return to my place after that alone. That means it can recognize his own home and still comes back to sleep in the same place every day. I am so proud of my own pigeon.

Today i brought bibi down for a flight. And i walked to the near the end of the connector beside the canal and started to make bibi fly towards me while i run. I ran for like about 50 metres and bibi followed me way behind. But soon it just swayed to the side and headed to the canal, water catchment and flew right above it. It was so clumsy at first and didnt know where to land, kept swaying side to side.. I was damn worried and called out for it... But after about 5 seconds of struggle above the canal, the flight got smoother and it could fly smoothly and elevate to the more trees area out of the canal part. I thought that it will drown in the water,as i always thought that it was so stupid to even able to land on water. But it eventually landed on my hand.. I could see bibi panting while opening this mouth grasping for air. But it was a huge step for it.

Alright, i shall design a loft for them now. :) It is getting too crowded day by day.

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jinn winks
at |2:53 PM|

Jul 3, 2010

There is a vague definition. Animal lover. Are u an animal lover? Just happen to know 1 or 2 guys who keeps/kept exotic creatures. Why? For the sake of their survival in the wild? Or merely just showing off that u have such rare creatures roaming in the hall of the small HDB "nest" ?

Okie, i keep pigeons. I found them below the nest along mrt tracks. Knowing they can't survive without the care of the parents and living in high places to avoid their natural predators. I have to keep them. But till now, i let them roam free, they are free to fly away in anytime.

Can someone tell me? Is being persistent a good thing?

Working later, after quite a long time... 1pm to 11pm! Hope its a pleasant time for me. Really. I have no more money. i need lots of money!

Thats all for today. I am HUNGRY!

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jinn winks
at |1:31 AM|

Jun 28, 2010

I found my pigeons below the opposite block! Finally! I thought bibi died due to thirst or eaten by cat.. But there were so much unexplained situations happened to them.. Bibi was no where to be found at about 3pm yesterday when i found gaga and brought it home, at about 4-5 pm gaga went missing again, after i told off gaga where is bibi. Both spent the night outside, but where? where exactly did bibi went? Today at about 5pm i found them, but bibi's feet got so much redder, just like those wild pigeons. It wasn't that red before. What exactly happened? They were both together, at the same spot, how did bibi which can't seem to fly be spoted by gaga?

Questions all over.. But it was a miracle that they are back!

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jinn winks
at |6:16 PM|

Jun 27, 2010

Here i go! After much persuasion by Miss Angela, who says i haven't been blogging and such.. I will revive my blog somehow yeah. See? Angela, u have such huge impacts on me. I was so touched that u still visits my blog.
First thing first. Yesterday 185 had their very grand outing..Plus wayne... Kite flying plus buffet lunch showing off sessions! Had whole load of fun! So let the pics tell the story!
For my side i prepared fried rice with egg.
So below are the ingredients: Rice, eggs, hotdogs, processed sausages, carrot, onion sprouts.

Rice stirred with egg yolk. To make it yellowish. And we all sat in song jun car and reached there at about 3 plus...

At about 5 plus, the whole place were restricted not to fly kites due to planes flying by for the NDP trainings. The little princesses, were such patriots and immediately stood still! Up coming displays of really nice performances by the awesome pilots.

We had so much fun taking pictures and playing around.. watching the sun set.. etc
Kite flying resumed and u can see how the sky is crowded with so many different creatures!

Zhi juan flying kite. can u spot her with the pink kite?

After the kite flying session we went to TIONG BHARU to watch KARATE KID

The movie was pretty good, but much predictable too.

Thats all for the night. Tired till i slept in sj car. Beautiful rite..

These are the pictures i took from my friend's office at 58th floor. What a great view.

I went to bugis street 2 days ago, and i bought myself a few shirts and a vest! Has been a long time since i last shop and shopping alone seems fun too. Last saturday there was a dinner we attended in suntec, and this is the first time im attending as a guest and not a waiter. Shiok..! The performance was great and very uniformed.

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jinn winks
at |2:15 AM|

Jun 25, 2010

Here i am posting once more, been asked by many people to resume blogging. But with the rise of facebook usage, why still blog? Everyone is posting almost every 30 minutes and the replys+comments were almost instant. Tell u what, im kinda lost in blogging already.
Here i am, on the 12th day of holidays. The holidays have been really not productive for me. I wished i could take up some courses, or some kinda of classes, to learn somethings at least. I have so many things i want to learn. Like maybe take up skating, tennis, driving.. Holidays have been really short. 2 weeks only and i have so many things to do.
Watched a movie, really just 1. Night at elm's street with 185.
hais. not really in a mood to blog now. Quite a few stuffs happened and i aint feeling great. I need a few days to alter my mood and start afresh again.
Just have to learn to adjust and endure, cos time is the only medicine.
There are so many things i would love to do. I'm just simply too poor to do. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. Im tired. So stop hurting yourself..

Reconstruction of blog soon.
Will be back soon.

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jinn winks
at |2:08 AM|

Apr 5, 2010

Yo yoyo! guess what im back!

Seriously i dunno what to write. It seems the life in poly now dont really appeal me much these days. Training ceased... exams, stress, profects, itp, fyp.. all the shits just appears right in front of me.. But well.. i will post one interesting topic today.. my ITP

My itp... hmmm.. dunno how to describe it.. hard to describe it with only 1 word.. i shall put 10 words then..

1. Tired( Shift works.. and all the lectures... never fails to make me doze on)

2. Fun(Everyone knows why... table tennis!)

3. Boring(seems to be the same routine everyday.. sometimes the lectures are so dry)

4.Irritating(Bff... o.O.... of cos! who else...)

5.Interesting( I see triangle)

6.Alluring( So many people to bioh! o.o)

7.Saddening( I failed my test lor..)

8.Bonding( 21/22/23.. all together! plus all my table tennis mates!)

9.Frustrating.. ( with all the logbook entries i got to submit, and the food i got to worry about)

10. Eye widening( who doesnt love looking at the huge flare that is more than 5 people's height?)

Well thats all for now.. next entry? dunno when ^^ tee hee

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jinn winks
at |11:40 PM|

Dec 27, 2009

Well, Christmas for this year is still fine for me, went to marina barrage, orchard road, fullerton, geylang...etc. But with my relatives. haha. Look forward to coundown 2010!! Wonder where would i be that night. So many things happened this long weekend. Relative back from malaysia they brought so much durian back for me.. packed into icecream boxes, the durians were squeezed like icecream lo! Damn nice. Haha!
My laptop were hospitalised again. No laptop for me this these days till it comes back. No pics to post and videos too. So sian..
New Year is coming!!!!

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jinn winks
at |10:59 PM|

Dec 20, 2009

Christmas is coming! This is the first christmas present i got! Simple facial products... Really nice of Daniel to give me this pleasant surprise... ^^

Well these pictures were taken after the class chalet! Went photoshooting with adam and friends. Pretty nice shots. But was caught in a heavy rain after that. Gosh.. nearly fall sick.

Well.. the class chalet was great! We had dinner together, drinking session, games, cycling, volleyball, friskbee, bbq, etc.. was fun! so much things to write, but just not gonna write all. U all should know better. (those who went) ^^

Wishing everyone to enjoy this holidays~!

Be back again!

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jinn winks
at |8:26 PM|

Nov 15, 2009

APEC! Saturday morning, we met up in city hall and wern juin was late.. We had to take our cards and we travel all the way from offices to offices. Spent so much time walking and scanning.. Was late already.. Very late. But went up to HR to let them fill up the application forms before work.. And happen to take pictures again.. Wern juin shoes wored by Jackson...

Nice?

Wern Juin's another shoe worn by me. Asked me to expand her shoe.. Was really cramped..Wahaha!

Took a picture of all our pictures before work!Me, val, wern , yisam and jackson. Wern juin look like the boss here.

A picture before working! Too bad im not in the picture.. Haiz.

Finally a group Foto..

NIce picture of val and wern.. We had lunch together.. Nice rite!

Self pic! With 2 da shuai ge

And one during work..Val and i happen to fall under jonathan.. very nice captain who let us rest. Heehee. Ate alot of food during clearing of the foods..

After work, tired ppls.

But i still wanna take pictures in the station sia. Were heading to wern juin house to study.

After the study, before going for dinner.. Many things happen.. Me and jackson were studying alone in the living room and was feeling weird why the rest was not around.. so we decided to take a peek.

Boomz! Valentine was actually in bed with the two roses.. ! Omg! The camera man became a parapazzi.. Valentine, you are doomed this time. Jump to yellow river cannot wash clean.

Valentine.. u are guilty of being a pimp! Haha!

Well, later after that we ate dinner as a family. We called each other to eat in age orders.. so fun. After dinner, we went around shopping and brought fruits.. But happen, still have to return back to the original point. Wern juin house..

Jackson was feeling sooo hot, that he eventually took off.. pls, ppl who read this blog, dont hover here too long. Theres a tendercy ur computer will have red splashes. Then don blame my blog.

The fruits we had. Eventually it became so late and we all decided to STAYOVER!

We watched movies and chatted.. and everyone got so tired they slept at the sofa. But indeed its really great to spend time with them! Cos u know why? We had Fivesome..

Oh, not really. Foursome. Cos i was the camera man. Wahahaha!

Boomz!

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jinn winks
at |11:37 PM|